Can you believe no one has taken the time to rank the best asses in the NFL? What good is the Internet if there aren’t answers to life’s most important questions? Not to worry, I, Gay Glazer have all the insight you’ll ever need.  Here’s my list for the Top 10 Best Looking Asses in the NFL!

10.) Ray Lewis

A still photo doesn’t do this hulking beast any justice. You really need to see this veteran ass in motion to fully understand.

9.) Terrell Owens

I love me some him.

8.) Jay Feely

I don’t understand why all kickers don’t look this way.  Feely has the kind of ass that makes me root for defensive struggles.

7.) Chris Cooley

You know that hot girl in the club that’s dancing with her friends and knows you want her? That’s Chris Cooley. If you dress like that, you know what you’re doing.

6.) Michael Turner

That ass is so big; you could see it from the front.

5.) Antonio Bryant

This guy has an obvious advantage over the competition. When do you ever get to see a bare ass during a football game?

4.) Devin Hester

Daaaaaaamn! Never mind!

3.) Vernon Davis

This ass was originally thought to be a bust. However, with hard work his ass has finally fulfilled the promise of all those Under Armor commercials I have saved on my DVR.

2.) Ernie Sims

This guy is just pure muscle. Can you believe Jim Schwartz has this guy’s ass riding the pine instead of flaunting what he’s got all over that field!?

1.)  Larry Fitzgerald

Honestly, no contest. This guy and his majestic ass ruined last year’s Super Bowl. Thanks to him I was fixated on that rump the entire game. I still don’t know which team was the victor. All I know is, we ALL won. Just try and watch Larry Fitzgerald play without staring at his ass. It’s impossible!